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Matured into Manhood?
By randy | December 8, 2007
Lately I have had this question lurking in my mind as I watch various young men mature from little boy’s who frequented our home as friends of my sons to post college young men. Last weekend I attended a men’s breakfast with an organization of African American men and some young men. Across the table from me was a young African American youth who was nicely groomed and wearing fashionable attire. He was orderly, quiet with refinement and I was taken with his demeanor. He certainly was not your street scene young black hip hop guy. He and another great young brother had come with another one of the older African American men who was a church leader at his home church. So after some normal guy thing question about the weather and their schools etc. etc. - you know how this simple conversation goes (nowhere deep) I decided to just really set their minds at ease recognizing I am the only white guy in the room and totally out of place by asking this lurking question “How does a young African American boy know he has matured into manhood?” These two young great African American young men which with no knowledge about what this weeks news started into a real dialogue which provided a great dilema for me this week.
This week we learned of yet another young man who creates social havoc - for Christmas shoppers at a mall in Omaha. The media has not given us much about the particuliars of this young mans life but from his suicide note there is one thing recognizable - he had no male significant people in his life that he looked up to that showed him how to move into manhood. Notice the difference from this white suburban lost young man to the 2 young African American men I just described in my earlier paragraph.
So I want to pose this question to the few who read this “How does a boy know that he has matured into manhood”? “How did you know you became a man?” “Who or what caused you to know you had moved from boyhood to manhood?”
Maybe this is hard for you to consider because you may still be trying to figure this question out and it is still haunting you. Please take the time to share with me about your journey from boyhood into manhood. For all of life is a journey that each of us is on. We all have a story to tell and there are truely some people who are wanting to hear yours.
Check back often this December because I am sure the holidays will bring up some interesting thoughts in this area if we are men who are willing to slow down enough to think about it. I personally find December a great time to slow my journey down enough to reminisce about family, friends, and my own journey into manhood.
Thank you dad, father in law Mr. Ed and the many great books I have read about manhood and the many strong Christian men who helped mold me but most of all thank you Lord for leaving us your written word and your son’s Holy Spirit to guide us when we can’t seem to figure it out.
So? What was/is your journey like into manhood?
Topics: Manhood |
December 12th, 2007 at 12:58 pm
First take a step back, remember what it was like as a child when the mail came? Your parents always received the coolest magazines, a neat package, or all those cool white envelopes containing all sorts of great information, mouth dropping information even. A young boy could not wait till he was important enough to gain the knowledge those envelopes pertained.
Now lets take a step forward, those envelopes do contain a multitude of mouth dropping information, but lets be honest it is not always the great news we desire.
A lot of society tells a man that he is entered his manhood in a variety of ways, finishing school, a good job, legal age limit of 18, a son or daughter. All of these are ways that society has to say that you are now a man. Different religions also have ways of bringing young boys into adulthood through traditional religious ceremonies.
Yet, with what society and religion has to throw at all the young kids in this world how does either know when that child is mature enough for adulthood?
The way I started to feel like a “young man” was by the usual age process, getting into college, a job, and of course bills. But that is not the point and time when I finally understood that I had bridged the gap and entered into manhood.
For me it was when the men in my life, my father, my mentor, and my best friends father (Randy) began talking to me at a spiritual level of equal grounds. While these men are by far further along in their spiritual walks, there came a day when each of them sat with me and discussed life and faith at a new level. It was not the usual father to son type of talk, it was man to man.
Yes there are societal factors in my life that made me understand I was now in a new world of responsibility and understanding. But the “mature” (I use the term lightly) I came when the those who had been looking over me and guiding me had started to look at me as man of God with growing faith, and not just a boy wondering who God is.
April 14th, 2008 at 1:11 pm
Young men become real men when they are able to get over their insecurities and jealousies while taking full responsibility for their actions. That is when you know you have graduated to a man.
September 17th, 2008 at 10:11 am
That is part of the problem, isn’t it? For many of our young men, and maybe many of us boomers, there was never a defining point of “you have now entered into Manhood”. There use to be. Fathers were able to help there boys ease into manhood, because they were there. As men’s ministry leaders, we need to equip our pastors and men in ways to lead our young men into mature manhood. Robert Lewis has many good resources, as does Patrick Morely, John eldridge, Stu Weber, etc. We need to actively cultivate our young men into accepting reponsibly the roles that God has prescribed for mature men. It is time for the Men of God to accept the reponsibility we have to usher our young men into maturity, spiritually and socially. If we don’t society will continue to do so, and we see where that has gotten us…..